Wellllllll then, Shit.

Today's been great, spent it with my boy he's so cute, We watched love actually & he proper got into it, Bless him.
Felt so nasty sending him home at 7 I felt so crap & took it out on him..
RFgdhfvgfvjtcA what a twat I am.

Sorted things out with Danny, were bestfriends again now, I've missed him lots.
Next day were both free were chillin in mine watching Takeshi's castle, eating rustlers burgers from Asda :D inside joke.
Aw I love him.

Shopping tommorrow with my mummy & grandma :D gonna be good, if I get up earlier enough.
Spending far to much money at the minute, really should stop -.-


Wow. On the phone to Adam, Yes fucking Adam.
I was watching gavin & stacey & it always reminds me of him,
Crying, was Reading some of my old blogs & just started crying.
He told me to man up like old times, God I miss those nights so much.

Knowing he never had & doesn't care about me hurts shit loads.



Meh, gonna go listening to Taylor Swift & cry myself to sleep.

What a weekend :) been dead good..

I'm so happy at the minute, Every things working out for once!
Its great :')

Aw, my boys home tomorrow, he's gone camping somewhere in Wales since Wednesday, done my head in :(
But spending tomorrow with him, Cant wait.

This weekend's been good, Spent the night in with Lauren, was good.. had a bottle of wine and shit, took some very odd pictures..
Didnt go sleep till like half 3 and then my mum got in at 8 was like VBOGRBHUVRN FDFVG Die woman.
Then had to get up and go shopping with my nan, head was hurting and just had no effort, some how ended up spending about 70 quid, On underwear, a top and some big thick knitted thing, makeup, hairspray and loads of other shit.
Don't know how i did it D:

I looked far to ruff to even show my face.

Aw i love her loads.

Fattest arse in the world me.

Night.xo

Wow, what a weekend.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat have i done?!

This weekend?
Ended up sat in mine on Friday night, with a litre of vodka, got Danny and his mates round, sat there like a twat, steaming.
they went home, started being sick :/ felt horrible.
rang Adam, crying my eyes out, don't know what I said, slightly worried.
Then, Lee, Tommy and Chris came round, oh dear. Slept with Tommy, couldn't believe it.
Wish I didn't.

They finally went home, and this lad in school i like, i decided to tell him. I have liked him for a while, Me and him are really really close.
To my surprise he told me he liked me :D

And me and him are like going out now :))))
Its so wierd, he's like my age, in my form and everything its so odd.
He's cute x)


I'm looking really ruff at the minute :')
Belly's starting to show, horrible hiding it, Really don't know who to turn to, BUT MY BOOBS ARE GETTING BIGGER!
Funny when a few months ago, I thought it was the right thing to do, help  change not just my life, but someone else's and it gets thrown back in my face.

look this is how ruff i am.

god i feel shite.

going bed.xo

Facts that bring out another side of me;

1) I'm naturally ginger, and it knocks my confidence down so much.

2) The size of my ears and nose are disgusting, so i get piercings to stop people looking at the size.

3) If anyone put feet infront of me, i would brake every toe, then brake down crying.

4) Everyday i'm scared that my illness is going to take over me and i'm not going to be able to fight it anymore.

5) When i first got ill, i gave up on life, and ended up with nothing.

6) Every day when i take my tablets, go to the doctors, the hospital. I feel like I'm just some freak who's life is           

    controlled by tablets, to keep my alive, which they are. It hurts.

7) I hold on to someone far to much, when i know i shouldn't.

8) When someone calls me or tells me they don't care, a part of me feels like its braking in so many ways.

9) I only ever loved one person, i thought i loved others, but only one, he broke my heart and its still broken.

10) I can't stand being on my own, Even though i'm only 15, i need a hug, and someone to cuddle up with at                          night and tell me its gonna be okay.

11) I'm a cunt to my friends, but i love them so much, and i couldn't live without them.

12) My family mean a lot to me, but i couldn't see myself without my grandad, he's the only man that understands me & i don't know what I'm going to do when he passes away.

13) When i'm scared i squeeze my hands the hardest i can.

14)  If i have no makeup on, as stuck up as this sounds, i feel ugly and useless, it hurts so much.

15) If i could turn back time, i wouldnt change anything, i know i've made mistakes, but maybe one day, i'll realise it was better in the long run.

16) Them days where you just want to curl up and die, push my to the ground so so much.

17) I wish people would understand that when i say i'm not bothered that i cant have kids, i really really am.
18) I act like i don't worry about the future, but it really really scares me.
19) I make far to many mistakes.
20) I tell people i'm over them and hate them, but really i still care about them with all my heart.

A girl being something shes not.xo

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Today -.-

Had my RE Exam, Fuck it up big time, Answered 4 questions, so obviously gonna fail, yaaaaaaaay.
Don't give a shit, its only RE :)

Going to the City parade next Monday, Gonna be good.
Got my weekend planned already :D Gonna be gooooooooooood.

Spending Friday night , Going round to Jorja's boyfriend Matt's and getting drunk with them 2 and Joe, Gonnagget wasted, Not done it in a whileeeeeee :)

Thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, Saturday :D

Spending the day with Reece then he's staying at mine :) aw my lifes perfect. <3


Started spending time with my Grandad again, Relised how far apart we've grown and how much i miss him.
First night i went to see him he made me my favourite tea :D was chufffffed.


God i'm so tired, off to bed a happy girl :)))) <3

Had a great weekend if i'm honest.

Friday?
Spend the whole day in school, Again!
Then went to see my nan and chilled there for a bit.. then went all the way to bury just for a smiley bar -.- beacuse i was a twat and lost the balls of the one i had in. don't know how..
Got to about 6 and had to go all the way to town to meet Reece to find out he'd been to middelton, which is a lot closer to mine than Manchester -.- well annoyed.

We finally got to mine and just chilled all night, aw it was so perfect :))))

Saturday?
Went to Cardiff to watch Yr Ods was amazing, was so tired when i got home though, was early hours :(


Sunday?
I'm ginger! stripped my hair, so now its all natural & stuff :')
but i have brown dye on as we speak, was sick of red -.-




looklooklooklook!

I'm ginger :}

Happy, Happy, Happy :D

Never been so tired in my life.
But still smiling :)

Fainting a lot at the minute :') BUT still going school, and actually enjoying it! I dont know what's wrong with me :')
I'm up to date on all my coursework, seeing 3week ago, I was 3month behind..
I'm doing full days again, even when I have my diploma, I'm still going in, well proud of myself :D
They've like built a new part of school which has basically all the class rooms in, its so confusing! and loads of stairs -.-
Finally started doing PE, that's why I'm so tired, realised how un-fit I am, fun times!

I seem to be the only person I know single, its fucking wierd.
but I'm actually quite happy about it.
like because I'm not cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong :D
Because I'm still meeting Aiden now.. but then Reece is staying at mine on Friday :')
I really really like Reece, Aidens just someone there to cheer me up when I wanna go round his for a few hours.. Reece knows I go round so its all good :)
But yeah, me and him are just getting better & better :D god I'm actually really happy.

I've actually realised the whole world doesn't evolve around being in a relationship, there stupid and you just end up getting hurt.
New me anyway, and its great.

Just spend 4 hours moving my room around, think I've give myself whiplash or something moving my tv :/ Killllllling.
Looks so much better though :D
MOVING HOUSE IN 6 WEEKS :D, Out of this one and leaving the past behind me, New start and i cant wait :D

Having some really wierd dreams at the minute.. and then things go on in the day that makes sense to do with them, wierdddddddddddd.


Oh oh oh, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK :')
I don't spend my nights staying in doing nothing, I've been out like nearly even night, its greaaaaaaaat.

But tonight, I'm staying in and being sad & watching loads of shit on tv :D

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.xo

ReeceReeceReeceReeceReece <3
HappyHappyHappyHappyHappy <3

Spent the day in town with him.
went cinema, was great!
Amazing kisser, got his tongue pierced, it feel well wierd because we both do.. hehe.
not getting my hopes up this time, I've finally moved on from adam, know he's nothing but a lying cheat :')
but yeah, REEEEEECE <3
not been this happy in a long time..

My lifes back on track now, and nothings putting me down..

Hungover.
Spending the day in bed dying, but still in a good mood :D God, its great.
GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I'm so happy its unbelievable :D

Meeting Reece one day after school, when he doesn't have work, hehe cant waitttttt..

Cba with Adam anymore, i actually couldn't give a shit about him, aw he's shaggin all these girls lol, bless him.

omg i need sleep.
bye <3

Lol at my life.
off school today, ill as fuck, literally can't move.
went doctors, on more tablets and seeing a councillor.

his words were " Katy, have you been in a relationship recently?" yes, we split up about 3 week ago, " I think you should see a councillor, it will help with your depression" so you want me to sit there with someone I've never met before and go on about how shit I feel? " it will help you a lot Katy, you're illness is triggered with stress mainly and you're breakup has been a big effect on you, I really think it will be good" Great.

so coz of my fucked up relationship its ended up me seeing a twatty councillor. -.-
been put on more tablets i feel like some fucking druggy, its really getting my down, everything.

i can't seem to make myself happy, there's always something in the way getting me down, my night have come to getting in, throwing myself on the couch, watching TV, eating, watching TV, crying, going bed, eating, msn, eating, moaning to my mum, watching some shit on TV, Sleep.
Literally.

Mums depressed, shes done nothing but cry because of her so cold fiancia ended it with her, its killing her.
Feel sorry for my little brother with us both like this!

I'm gonna go eat, i can't get full :(
bye bye.

Found myself crying for the past 3 hours about how I miss Adam :/

can't even be arsed anymore.
Stopped talking to aiden & shit, fml.
Knew this would happen! And there's nothing I can do.

Cba, hospital tomorrow, night <3